Divore and Remarriage(Biblical Law)

Mothers and The Role of Women

Wives

 

From Biblical Wives David Fairchild My desire is to show you the mirror, which is YHWH’s word and standard, and allow that mirror to reflect who you are in truth according to the Scriptures. I ask that you do not use this message as a way of looking at another and focusing on their sin. This message is about you and the Scriptures, not your friend’s sin and your observation of her sin. Crown or Decay? Proverbs 12:4- A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Are you a crown on his head and a glory to him as 1 Corinthians 11:7 says, or are you a decay, a disease that is slowly eating away his life and robbing him of strength? Are you a crown on his head or a pain in the neck? Being a Decay The Loud Wife Proverbs 9:13 The woman Folly is loud; she is undisciplined and without knowledge. Righteous husbands despise a screaming, yelling, fit throwing woman. If you want to decay your husband, yell at him. If you want to decay him quickly, yell at him in front of his friends or others. Give him that look and boss him around in front of his friends. Men just love being treated like a child in front of others. In contrast 1 Peter 3:3-4 says that you are not to let your adornment or beauty be merely outward but “let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of YHWH.” Sisters, do you have a gentle and quiet spirit? There is a false notion that if you fight with your husband then you are proving your strength to him. No you’re not. You’re strength is not having to be loud, throw a fit, and yell at him. You’re strength is a gentle and quiet Does this excuse a man that would dare touch a woman in anger? No. But ladies, if you act like a man by attacking him and by demeaning his masculinity and placing him in a position of constantly taking from him his manhood, he will at some point respond. If he doesn’t you will despise him for being weak and you will eventually increase your assault because you can get away with it or you will look for a man that will stand up to you and start the process all over again. Either way you won’t win. Loud women dig their own grave and dump dirt on their own head and scream all the way to their death. The Moody Wife Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Some of you women use your moodiness to get your way and manipulate your husband or other people. I have seen women that will start by yelling, that didn’t work, then they turn to pouting, that didn’t work, then they turn to crying, ah…that worked. What is she doing? She’s being moody. She’s jumping from mood, to mood, to mood, until she finds one that works. A Quarrelsome Wife Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. It says that a foolish son is his father’s ruin. I would venture to say that you could easily make a case that a quarrelsome, brawling, disrespectful wife will raise children that are their father’s ruin and disgrace. Some of you women decay your men because you speak to your men in a way that is demeaning in front of your children. You diminish him and his role by your constant disrespect. Children learn to parrot the mother. If the wife speaks disrespectfully to him, the children will inevitably follow. Are we saying that a woman can never disagree with their husband or have strong feelings about something her husband said or did? No. But you don’t do it in front of your children. You reserve those kinds of difficult conversations to the privacy of your room or in a place where your kids are not participating. Isn’t it true that men have a tendency to treat other men the way the wife treats him? If a wife is respectful and loving to her husband, if the wife is tender and gracious and speaks well of him in front of others and in front of the children, people will follow suit. If a woman is loud and quarrelsome and a decay in her husband’s bones by being disrespectful with disrespectful children, others will treat him likewise. Fools for Friends Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. Ladies, who are your friends? Most of you ladies care entirely too much about what other women think. We see this in the way you parent, dress, and how you treat your husband. You care too much about the approval of other ladies and so you listen to their advice, you follow their example and you find yourself in opposition to the Scriptures because you are more interested in their approval than your Father in heaven. If you are not careful in picking your friends, scripture tells us that “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Some of you sisters have friends that are still single, and that tell you all about their sinful lifestyle. They like to go to clubs, they like to sleep around, and they tell you all about the attention they get. You pick women that you can vicariously live your sinful hearts’ desire out through their stories and through their sin. Worse, you seek their advice about your husband! Tell me how this works…a woman of YHWH, called to respect her husband seeks out advice from a woman that doesn’t know YHWH and is single. What in the world could she possibly tell you of biblical value? Are we saying you shouldn’t have unbelieving friends? Not at all. What we are saying, is that you don’t confide or seek counsel from someone that can not give you biblical wisdom. The Scriptures teach us that we are not to walk in the counsel of the unrighteous. There is nothing worse for a husband to come home after a disagreement or argument, to find you on the phone with your unsaved single friend telling her all about what happened and listening to her ranting on how she would handle it. She’s single!!! That should give you a hint of how she handles things. Is it acceptable for a woman to speak to another woman about their problems without her husband’s approval? No, it isn’t. You should have a specific couple or a specific woman that is Righteous and gives you righteous counsel that your husband knows you speak to about your challenges. You have to be very careful when confiding in others about what happens in your home. Sisters, make sure the choice of your friends is not decaying your husband. A Gossiping Wife Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. Some women get in arguments with their husbands and they won’t let it die. Some women don’t talk to their husbands, they talk about their husbands. They won’t let the fire of an argument die, and so they kindle the fire with gossip about their husband. Some of you do this without even realizing you do it. Your first instinct when in a fight is to tell someone else about it. And even when the argument is over, you won’t let it go, you keep feeding the flames by talking about it like a politician who is looking for votes of confidence. Its gossip, not min Even in prayer meetings ladies sit around and pray about confidential issues as a way to gossip about their men. Women’s retreats turn into husband bashing. How many husbands like to walk in the house and hear your wife talking to her mother about what you said and how you said it? No one! No one wants to be gossiped about, especially the one that you are supposed to be most respectful to.  How do you think godly ladies will treat your relationship when they hear you gossip? They will keep you at arms length because they don’t trust you. Let the argument die down and let the flames burn out. Don’t decay your husband by gossiping about him to others. The Immoral Wife Proverbs 6:24-25 …the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes… This woman is death. She will kill the man quickly. Some of you sisters learned a simple equation when you turned about 15, more makeup + less clothes = more attention. It’s a historically proven. Then you get married and you still want the attention. You like to flirt; you like to have men look at you, like the eyes of other men fixed on you. This last passage tells you how she does it. With her smooth tongue, the way she speaks with golden niceties and flatteries, and you do this with your eyes. You stare deep into another man’s eyes and allow him to do the same. You know what you’re doing; you’re not fooling anyone, including your husband and especially YHWH. Proverbs 7:10 says… Proverbs 7:10-11 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. She is loud and defiant; her feet never stay at home… Ladies, let me ask you a question. Does the sovereignty of YHWH and the Kingship of Yahoshua extend itself to your neckline and hemline? Some of you women dress like prostitutes and you are loud and defiant to your men. Men, is there anything worse than your wife wearing clothes that make her look like a whore and then flirts with another man by flattering him and looking into his eyes while he looks down her shirt? No, that pretty much does it for a guy. That is when I will be preaching someone’s funeral. You see, in our society we are told you’re not to be jealous. Yet our Elohim is a jealous Elohim. He has a righteous jealousy that is not pleased or approving of a spiritually immoral child. He does not wink at our spiritual adultery, and He doesn’t allow us to worship other Gods. The same for us. I wouldn’t be o.k. with my wife giving to someone else something that should be reserved for me alone. If you want to wear revealing clothes, flirt and flatter, do it at home when your kids are asleep, you have my permission. But don’t do it with someone else other than your husband who loves you and has chosen to be with you for the rest of your lives. The Unfaithful Wife Proverbs 25:19 Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble. tanks and he has no job, when he gains 15 pounds, or loses his hair that now grows on his shoulders, you are unfaithful in times of trouble. It’s like a bad tooth. Anyone here ever had a bad tooth? Is that not the worst torture? A constant ache that won’t go away unless it is removed. This is what an unfaithful wife in times of trouble is like. Have you ladies planned for those times of trouble? Have you considered that your life may not follow the plans that you drew up in your own head? A woman decays her man when in times of trouble she kicks him when he’s down. Sisters, do you think your man responds favorably when you take your finger and stick into his wounds? Not usually. What men need most when times of trouble and adversity come is a strong woman that is gentle and respectful of him as he doubts some of his own strength and abilities to provide for his family. Does this mean that you wink at sin? No. There is a big difference between things that happen to you and things you bring on yourself, but as a rule, always err on being faithful no matter the circumstance. Sisters, men need you. It is no secret. Men, do you need your wives? There you have it! I need my wife and I tell her I need her. She is vital to my health. Without her help I am crippled. She is so important and so necessary for me to be the kind of man that I desire to be that I can’t image my life without her help and without her presence. Sisters, be faithful to your man as Yahoshua has been faithful to you in your times of trouble. That’s a bad wife: Loud, moody, quarrelsome wife, that has bad friends that she gossips to and is immoral, flirts, and splits when things get tough. You place a man in with a woman like that, or a woman that has many of these characteristics, and he will be like a caged animal trying to find a way to escape. Enough decay, let’s look at a crown. Being a Crown Wife as a Helper Genesis 2:18 YHWH said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Is this true, men? Is it true that it’s not good for you to be alone? Man has been created in the image and likeness of YHWH, who is in the first and perfect eternal community. And we are to share in that by being together with our spouse in a righteous community that is a reflection of our Triune Elohim. As our Creator YHWH is One, he is to be one with his wife. Sisters, YHWH made you to be his helper and he needs you. Isn’t it beautiful that YHWH gives you someone who’s strengths are not your own and whose weaknesses you compliment. Some of you are frustrated because your husbands are not as good at cleaning the house as you are. You know why? He needs you. Men, some of you don’t understand how your wife could forget to tell you about the oil light being lit for the last 6 months. The man was created to need the wife. YHWH gave him that wife, and that wife is his helper and his crown. 1 Corinthians 11:8-9 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. Sisters, it’s a blessing not a curse to have a clear purpose and role given to you sovereignty by YHWH. YHWH chose your gender. Proverbs 31:12 She brings him good not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 11:16 A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth. A kindhearted woman gains respect because her strength is not from volume or her voice, or the amount of weight she can bench press, it comes from her heart which is kind and expresses itself kindly to her husband. Proverbs 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the YHWH. Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. A foolish woman destroys her house with her decay, but a wise woman desire to build her home each day. Finding ways to sweeten the aroma of the home. Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of YHWH. Sisters, pray that YHWH would make you a woman that takes other women under your wings to show and teach from Scripture how beautiful these truths are. Ephesians 5:22-24, 33 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Yahoshua is the head of the Body, his body, of which he is the Messiah. Now as the Body submits to Yahoshua, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything…the wife must respect her husband. This is how we are called to live in relationship with one another in our marriage covenant. Our Elohim is a Elohim of covenants. The husband is to be the covenant head of the relationship, and the wife is to, as Yahoshua is our covenant head, submit to his YHWH given authority. Some men use this as a way to get more than they deserve, some sisters ignore this altogether and want nothing to do with the word submission, yet we are told that Yahoshua submitted to the Father’s will. Are we saying that we are above Yahoshua as should not do that which YHWH has prescribed? Proverbs 5:18-19 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.   "WHEN ONE IS IN LOVE, A MOUNTAIN BECOMES A MEADOW"